******
-Monday Night Raw-
Hayley threw her notebook down on the table and just stared out into space. It was yet another week of the writers shooting down all of her ideas. She was starting to let it eat at her because she was the head writer and if the other writers couldn't get into her motivation, then the job wasn't going anywhere. She liked being this close to the action and so did her friend Amanda. She remembered what Amanda was like after every Raw show, wanting to know what was going to happen next and counting on Hayley to tell her. She liked that she was able to do that for her friend, but with all the writers coming up against her, she wasn't sure if she could do it much longer. It was taking its toll on her body and although she didn't want to admit it, it hurt her pride as well.
"Are they still giving you the brush off?"
Hayley turned around and saw Jeff standing there, waiting patiently for her answer, or even acknowledgment that she knew he was there.
"Yeah, how'd you guess?"
"They hate the fact that someone might have better ideas then they do. Believe me, I've been through that, and so has Matt at some point."
"Will it ever get better?"
"I think so. If you force your point enough times. This is the same group of writers that wanted to put me with Amy when Matt and I were together, so they don't really think all that clearly."
"You didn't end up with Amy though did you?"
"No, because I told them I didn't care what they did to me, I wasn't going to do it. I mean at the time that was my brother's girlfriend, and I had one of my own, why would I want to get involved with something like that right?"
"You'd be asking for trouble. So what are you doing here anyway?"
"I came to visit again like usual. I mean I enjoy staying at home believe me, but there is something about this ring that gets to me ya know?"
"I think I get it. I'm still not down with how the wrestlers feel about the whole job concept, but I can feel where you are coming from. It sounds a lot like your wife."
"She's told you that too?"
"Not in so many words, but it's basically the same thing."
"Well when you are a wrestler, it never really leaves your blood. It's like a lifeline, and without it, you just crash and burn."
"Is that what you call starting a music career and being famous?"
"Yeah in a nutshell. Can't you tell I'm wasting away here?" Jeff laughed and took a seat at the table, across from Hayley.
"Where is your wife anyway? I wanted to thank her for the shopping trip the other day."
"She's off with Trish; planning something again I'm sure. So do you want to tell me what's on your mind here? I mean you have a boyfriend that's sitting in the locker room, with a pained look on his face from lack of seeing you, and you are sitting here looking just as beat up. Are you sure you didn't just wrestle someone too?"
Hayley smiled and flipped open her notebook. Taking a quick glance at the ideas she had posted in there, she sighed openly.
"I'm in here trying to figure out what I did that was so wrong here Jeff. I mean I love this job, its better then working on soaps, but at the same time, it's challenging too. They shot down pretty much everything I said. Minus the stuff with Trish, because it seems they like doing stuff with her involved."
"So tell me your ideas and I will see if they are worth shooting down babe. I'm your ears here."
"I asked for Stacey to be taken away from Andrew, and put on her own, until she finds someone she can really manage well. I think in the long term I want her to wrestle too. She does have those legs as her arsenal."
"Not a bad plan, I think over the long term it could work well. They shot that down too?"
"In a nutshell. They did accept the ideas for Shane though, because well Jim okayed them ahead of time, so it was just me telling them what to write and then reading it all over. They don't want to give Booker a run for the title either."
"Which title?"
"Heavyweight, they shot it down before I even finished. It seems they all like Hunter with it."
"Hunter is part of the family here, and they do tend to go for him, I remember that much. Any tag team stuff you have written in that book?"
"I want more tag teams brought in before I take a stab at that. I adore Kane and Rob, but I see much more for them, god even Steve saw more for Kane on Raw and he's not even a writer."
"I agree, so talk to Vince and see what he can do about some good tag teams for Raw. I mean they do tend to dominate on Smack down huh?"
"Yeah that's the look of it at the moment. I want to discuss this with Jim too, see what he can do for me on the talent end of things."
"Well from what you've told me, these writers are just assholes sweetheart. I mean I see everything you want to see here. I can't see the problem."
"Well it's nice that someone who doesn't work for the company anymore sees my vision."
"I do, but its company politics, and you know what princess? That's the whole reason I left this business. You need to be creative and you need to do your own thing, and people don't get that."
Standing up from the table and grabbing her books, she cast a look at Jeff and smiled.
"Thank you for understanding, but I really should go see Shane. I know his match is probably over now, and I know you said he looked lonely. I don't want to keep him waiting on that."
"I understand, I better go hunt down my wife too, she tends to lose all track of time when she is with the girls."
*************
"Hey I wondered when you were going to come see me. I was beginning to think you flew home without saying goodbye."
"I would never do that to you Shane, you know me well enough by now. Plus I need a ride. What girl would leave without a ride?" Hayley smiled and kissed Shane gently on the lips. It had been way to long since they'd been alone and she didn't want to waste it.
"So I'm just the ride man now huh?"
"In a nutshell. Honestly though, I'm sorry I took so long getting here, I was going over the meeting in my head and then I talked to Jeff about it."
"He's the best person to sound off on huh? He understands the shit around here better then anyone."
"Yeah I just can't believe they wanted to put him with his brother's girlfriend. That's wrong!"
"It was wrong, so what's the plan now sweetheart? What do you want to do?"
Hayley cast a devious look at Shane and he laughed. They had been getting so close over the last few weeks that Hayley knew she was ready to be with him, in any way that mattered. She liked having an extremely cute boyfriend she could fly home with after every show.
"Okay so we can save that look for later alright? I mean do you want to get out of here and get something to eat? Or just go back to the hotel?"
"Something to eat definitely. I haven't eaten properly all day. So what does Dallas have to offer in terms of good eating?"
"How should I know?"
"You are the resident traveler here Shane, you must know."
"Okay so Denny's rules. You up for that?"
"Denny's is fine. Just let me go grab my laptop and I'll be right." Hayley didn't have a moment to finish her sentence before she hit the floor.
Shane immediately jumped down to the floor. He hadn't seen her faint like this since the first day they'd met after the club. He knew that this time wasn't because she was in shock over seeing him. He pushed her hair out of her face and placed his hands on her cheeks.
"Hayley! Come on now, this isn't funny, please wake up." He shook her gently as he tried to rationalize what had just happened.
At that moment Jeff and Summer made their way into the locker room. They wanted to say goodbye to the guys before they took off for the night. Jeff immediately saw Hayley on the floor and thought someone had taken her out.
"What's wrong Shane?" Jeff exclaimed.
"We were talking, she was going to grab her laptop and then come back so we could. Jesus Jeff, I don't know what the hell happened. All I know is she wont wake up."
Summer immediately pulled Jeff aside as Shane tried to wake her up off the floor. She had an idea of what happened in here but she didn't want to jump the gun too quickly.
"Jeff, take Shane and go get some help alright? I'll stay with her and see if I can do something to make her come too."
Pulling Shane out of the locker room, Jeff booked it down the hall to where all the trainers and on duty doctors stayed. He knew most everyone was done with their matches, but he was hoping that they were still around for those wrestlers that were still hurting.
************
"Summer.."
"Yeah Hayley it's me, what happened in here?"
"I don't know. I told Shane I was going to get my bag, so we could leave, and now you're here."
"Did you tell him about?"
"No, because there hasn't been a reason too."
"You need to tell him sweetheart, because right now he and Jeff are going insane looking for someone to help you here."
"I'll be fine now, I just blacked out there for a second or something. Can you help me up?"
"Of course I can, give me a second to drop my bags off my arms."
Summer threw her bags to the floor and put Hayley's arm around her neck. Pulling her to a standing position, the guys came back into the room with a medic.
"Are you alright baby?" Shane asked running over and taking her into his arms.
"I'm fine now, but Shane I need to get home and to the hospital, as soon as we can."
"We can take you to one here; they can look at you and make sure that you really are okay."
"Yeah, whatever, but there's something I need to tell you about, before it gets any worse, because apparently it is, getting worse I mean."
"You can tell me once I know you're alright. Summer, Jeff, are you guys coming with?"
"Of course we are." They said in unison.
****************
********
"Why won't the doctor let us in there now? She said she was fine!" Shane exclaimed as he paced back and forth waiting for word on his girlfriend.
"They won't let us in because we aren't family Shane; the doctor told you that before, did you forget?" Summer asked putting her arms around him. She knew he was concerned and apparently with good reason. Hayley might think she had everything under control, but that wasn't the case now.
"Guys, the doctor just went back in there, so maybe when he's done, they'll let us in. I'm going to get some tea, Summer do you want anything?" Jeff asked gently.
"Yeah, the usual herbal stuff is fine, every coffee place sells it, and get Shane something to calm his nerves down, he's going mental inside right now."
"Okay, let me know what you find out when I get back."
************
"Ms. Carmichael, were you aware of these symptoms before?"
"Yes sir I did. I've been back and forth to my doctor and the hospital enough times over the last few months. They didn't have a diagnosis for me though. Is there something you've found that my doctor didn't?"
"No, everything is still inconclusive at this time, but she did mention that it might be ovarian in nature. We're you aware of that?"
"Yes, that was what we were working with. I was supposed to find out some results on the x-rays I took recently, but with my work I've been busy."
"This incident shouldn't be looked at lightly, you do know that right? You seem to be working extra hard here not to focus on the medical problems you're facing. I think you should take some time off from your job, whatever it is, and relax."
"That isn't possible at the moment. I can promise you to take it easier, and to focus more on what might be wrong with me, but my job is my life."
"Then take a reduced amount of work then. I want you to see your doctor when you get home and tell her about what I've said, and have her monitor you. Ovarian Cancer is something that we deal with somewhat, but no one really knows what makes it get worse, we only know what we can do as medical professionals to make it less hard and more treatable."
"I can do that doctor, as soon as I get home. Are my friends still out in the waiting room?"
"Yes, there are two young men and a lady there, and they seem to be very concerned with you. Are any of them aware of the nature of this illness?"
"The girl knows. I told her recently what's been going on with me, but the other two guys don't. Is it possible I could see the guy with the green hair? He's my boyfriend and I know he must be worried sick about all of this right now."
"I can do that for you, as long as you plan on telling him the truth. You need all the support you can get with this Ms. Carmichael, you cannot do it alone. It's not a common cold you can just breeze by."
"I plan on telling him as soon as you let him in here doctor, there will be no question on that, and I know I can't do this alone."
"Then I'll go get him for you, I just have one more question and it's purely for medical reasons."
"Sure, what's the question?"
"Have you had sexual relations with the young man?"
"No, not yet, as I told my doctor, we recently got together and with the illness, I don't really want to take a chance right away, especially when he doesn't have a clue what's wrong."
"So there has been no bleeding then?"
"No there is, but not because of us sleeping together, just abnormal bleeding in general."
"Okay, I will mark it all down on the chart you have with us, and pass it all along to your doctor. I'll get the gentleman for you now. Remember what I said though Hayley, do take it easy."
"I will. I think I have no other choice right now, don't you?"
*****************
"Hey baby, the doctor said you wanted to see me?" Shane said taking a seat in the chair beside her hospital bed.
"Yeah, there's something I need to tell you about, not to mention I didn't want to see you pacing around outside the room anymore." Hayley said cracking a small smile.
"Well you can tell me anything you know, I think we've gotten good at that."
"Shane, this is more serious then you think it is."
"How serious?"
"I'm really sick. There is no easy way to explain all of this away, and I should have told you about it before, when we started getting close, but I wanted to do it all on my own, I thought I could handle it."
"Okay, so your starting to worry me here, do what alone?"
"Shane, I'm sick. They don't know for sure what it is at the moment, but from the looks of all the tests and such, its Ovarian."
"What does that mean? I'm sorry sweetie, but I'm not a girl or a doctor."
"I have cancer Shane."
"What?"
"I have ovarian cancer Shane. The doctors don't want to say that it is for sure, but I know it is, my mother had it, and her mother before her. Its completely genetic and I'm now on the receiving end of it."
"You have cancer? You can't have cancer! You are absolutely fine and healthy looking to me. The doctors must be mistaken."
"No, they aren't, and I'm not healthy, I just play it like I am. I've been sick on and off for years and now it's hitting the fan and getting worse. I fainted on you tonight, and then at the mall the other day I took sharp pains and bleeding in my abdomen with Summer."
"So Summer knows?"
"She does, because I really had no other choice but tell her. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner Shane, I thought I could deal with this all on my own like I have been."
"This can be treated right?"
"It can be, but I've been putting it off so long, it might be too late."
"This cant be happening right now. I cannot believe what I'm hearing here Hayley. I just meet you, I fall in love with you and now you're sick?"
"What did you just say Shane?'
"I said, I meet you and well god we are so close, you're my best friend on top of everything, and you're sick. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Shane, I thought I could this on my own. I didn't want to bring this up with you this soon in our relationship. I enjoy every moment I am with you, why would I want to ruin it, and make you look at me differently. But that's not what I asked you, did you say you loved me?"
"Yes Hayley. I know it's like way to soon to feel this way, believe me I do. I mean I didn't want anything serious but this is all it is to me now. I'm laying myself on the line here, and saying that yes Hayley Carmichael I do love you. I think I always have."
"Even now?"
"God Hayley, even more so now. You can tell me anything, you know that. I have never once told you to lie to me to spare me have I?"
"Not once, but are you sure you love me?"
"I've never been surer of anything in my life princess. I just, god we're going to get you through this, so I can show you how much I love you."
"I love you too Shane."
"What?"
"You heard me buster, I didn't say anything else to hide it like you do."
"You love me?"
"Yes, can you handle that?"
"If you'll let me handle it, then I can. Can we make it through this Hayley?"
"Shane, I think we can make it through anything together now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner baby."
"Don't worry about it. How soon can I take you home?"
"As soon as the doctor clears me to leave I would assume."
Shane moved closer to the bed and smiled at her. When he did that her stomach just did flips. There was really something about this man that made him perfect for her. She couldn't imagine not being with him everyday of her life. She wanted to make this man happy. Shane brushed his hands across her cheeks and moved in and kissed her gently. As soon as he touched her the sparks flew, and he knew this was the girl he would love like no other before. She was a keeper.
**************
***********
"So he knows about everything now Hayley?" Amanda asked cradling the phone to one side. She was on the phone with Mike when Hayley walked in the door slinging her bags everywhere.
"He knows, and I am really sick of hospitals. I'm really wishing I wasn't born right about now!" she yelled before looking and seeing Amanda was on the phone. Whispering a quiet apology she made her way up to her room. Her phone rang and she jumped out of her skin to get it.
"Hello?"
"Hayley, it's Summer, you busy right now?"
"Of course not, I just got home after the flight."
"You want to come over?"
"Sure, right now?"
"Yeah, do you want me to pick you up?"
"No I can manage to drive a few miles. I'll be there soon."
"Okay, and dress nicely."
"Why?"
"You'll see when you get here, just dress nice and bring yourself. We can take care of the rest."
"See you in a few then."
Putting the phone back on the hook, she looked around her room for something nice to wear. She didn't know what was going on, since she hadn't seen Summer and Jeff since the hospital, but if they wanted her to dress nice, then she had better do it.
***********
"Where are you going?" Amanda asked as Hayley made her way down the stairs in her black velvet dress.
"I'm going to Summer's and they asked me to dress up, so don't even go there Manda."
"I wasn't going to go anywhere, you look wonderful. You haven't really dressed up since before your mother died."
"I know, it's awkward, but whatever it takes for these people to like me right?"
"They already like you for who you are you dimwit. But that dress should shock the shit right out of your boyfriend."
"Thank you Manda, and don't wait up. I might stay there overnight."
"I wont, have a good time sweetheart. I'm going over to Mike's."
************
Stepping out of the car, Hayley took a lingering look around the area. She had already noticed how wonderful this place looked by the light of day and the glistening of the night, but she just wanted a few minutes to take it all in again. Walking towards the back woods of the house, she was startled when she heard a noise.
"Sorry, I heard your car pull up and I came out here to make sure you were alright." Jeff said coming out from behind all the trees.
"Yeah, I just wanted a few minutes to check out the land, it's so beautiful here."
"I know that well, that's why I never moved away from it all. I need to be near this life to keep my sanity. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah it does, believe me. I don't think I could ever move away from where I am either. It just wouldn't be the same elements I'm used too."
"So what are you thinking about?"
"Just everything actually. I mean you guys have seen me at my best with my writing and then at my worst in the hospital, I mean I just think you guys would be better off sometimes if I hadn't made an appearance."
"Why would you think like that?"
"I don't know honestly. It's just a feeling Jeff."
"Since you showed up on the scene, you've touched a lot of lives okay? I mean there was Shane, whose last girlfriend had a thing for me. With you he knows it's different and you love him for him. He really takes pride in knowing that you are his girl. He really does love you, even though he doesn't say it."
"He does."
"He does what?"
"He told me he loved me this week Jeff. He tells me whenever he can now since he found out I'm sick."
"Yeah, well that's Shane for you. Not only have you touched his life, you've added an element to Summer's life that wasn't there before. She loves Trish to death and would do anything for her, but it's not the same as having someone you see all the time and can just be yourself around, and that's what she found with you. You really are like family now Hayley. I hope you don't doubt that."
"Wow, you have a lot to say about me then don't you Mr. Hardy?"
"Well I just want to make sure you know how much you mean to all of us."
"Well I do now, so thank you very much."
"Are you scared?"
"Scared?"
"About the cancer, are you scared?"
"You want the honest answer?"
"Always."
"I'm scared out of my wits right now Jeff. I mean this wasn't that serious before, and now it's like I might be living on borrowed time here. They can't find out for sure what the hell I have wrong with me, except that it might be Ovarian Cancer, and I'm sick all the time.. I don't know what to do about anything anymore."
"You aren't living on borrowed time sweetheart, you just have to live."
"What do you mean?"
"I understand that your sick, and you want to not be sick anymore, but you need to live your life for the moment. You need to have the time of your life with your friends and family, and just be. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, you want me to put this in the back of my mind for tonight and just have fun right?"
"In a nutshell yes, but you do what you need to do to survive. I don't really know you, but every time we talk, you understand me, just like Summer does. You two are the only ones that do. I don't want you to pull into yourself and then lose out on a good friendship. Making sense still?"
"You want to be my friend is that what you mean?"
"What I mean Hayley is you're a wonderful person, and one that gets me on a certain level that Shane hasn't mastered yet. We can actually sit down and talk to each other, and its wonderful, so before you revert back into yourself, give us all a chance to see the real you, and have a good time doing it."
"I think I can do that. Are you ready to head in?"
"Yeah, let's go before Summer wonders where I went." Jeff laughed and pulled her into a hug. It seemed like the right thing to do in this situation. This girl needed to know that everyone stood behind her.
"Jeff?"
"Yeah Hayley?"
"Can you not tell Summer and Shane about me being scared? I don't want to worry them both anymore then I already have."
"You have my word, it's our secret. I'm glad you could open up to me though."
"It's easy, you being so weird and all." Hayley said while running towards the house laughing.
"I am not weird; you're going to pay for that little girl!" Jeff said trying to catch up with her before she hit the house again.
*********************
"Okay so me and Jeff are going to get out of your way now alright Shane?" Summer said pulling Shane aside.
"Thanks guys, I know I owe you big for this."
"Yeah you do, but don't worry about payback, just show her a good time tonight and we can call it even."
"I will, and Summer, thank you for being the best friend in the whole world."
"Your welcome."
*************
"Shane what is all this?" Hayley asked while looking at the flowers set up everywhere in the house and the table with the candles lit just glowing in the darkness.
"Don't be mad with me or Amanda alright?"
"What do you mean? What did she do?"
"I called her last week and asked her things about you, because she's known you for years and she told me that you never went to your prom, and since I didn't either, I just assumed it would be great for us to do it together, complete with the music from that time and everything."
"You did what??" Hayley smiled. This had to be the most romantic thing that someone had ever done for her.
"Welcome to your prom, the whole reason you are dressed like this tonight. I also want to add that you look like an angel with that dress."
"Thank you, and you look nice too, very nice in fact." She looked at his tuxedo and smiled lightly. He even had a corsage pinned to his lapel and as she watched him he brought out her corsage, and placed it on her hand.
"I just wanted to make sure we got the full affect here tonight."
"Shane this is too much, you didn't have to do this." she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.
"Do you want to dance with me?"
"I'd like nothing more then to dance with you Shane."
Shane walked over to the stereo and played the CD he had made the night before of the music he was listening too on the road, and some songs from the time they were in high school. Hitting play he went back and took Hayley by the hand, leading her to the living room, which was made into a dance hall.
"I hope you don't mind this song, Summer let me hear it the other day, and it made me think of you."
Hayley didn't want to let Shane know it, but she knew the song too, and it was something that was in constant play in her CD player at her house. She couldn't think of a better song for the moment. Pulling herself closer to Shane she let the words fill her inside and snuggled closer to him. She couldn't picture being anywhere else at that moment.
~~~~~
hold on to me love
you know I can't stay long
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
~~~~~
Looking down into her eyes, Shane saw the tears lingering there. He wanted to give her this night, and make her feel special. He knew there was so much going on inside her head and worries were clouding everything, but he wanted to make sure she knew she was loved by him and he wasn't going anywhere.
~~~~~~
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
~~~~~~~
Hayley looked up into Shane's eyes and kissed him gently at first, and when the explosion hit, and their feelings came together, she deepened it. She wanted to be with this man more then anything right now, and she knew he felt the same.
"You want to go outside and look at the stars? I made dinner, but it can wait, this seems right for the moment."
"Shane I will go anywhere with you."
Shane took her by the hand and led her outside to the deck. Making their way down the stairs she saw the blanket laying under the stars with a bottle of wine beside it. She smiled and realized he really had thought of everything. This was the right time. They were going to make love, and she couldn't think of anything but Shane at that moment.
**************
