*!Haunted!*

I sat in the hospital for what seemed days or weeks. Really only slow desperate hours passed. The bullet was lodged within his collar bone. The doctors were fumbeled for lack of a better word. They just couldn't figure out how to get the bullet out. They finally got it after hours of surgery and lots of lost blood.

I was the first visitor Jeff was aloud, he asked for me with his feable strength. He called for me and the doctors were ify on my coming in. But eventually they agreed.

"Jeff?" I said teary eyed as I entered his room. "are you ok baby?" I smiled at him and walked towards his face. I kissed his soft lips. I woke him. He stared into my eyes and smiled.

"Hey Morgy, I love you. Never forget that baby ok?" he asked weakly kissing me again.

"I know that Jeff I know." I said crying.

"Morgan don't cry, you know I feel like shit when you cry it's not that bad I'll be fine baby come on where's my smiling Morgan?" he asked laughing hoarsely.

"Jeff it's my fault you're here. Blame me Shane found out and he wasn't supposed to know it's all my fault!" I screamed in my head. Those words kept repeating over and over again. It had been al my fault I almost killed my best friend, and with him in the hospital, I was free to bleed the pain out in peace.

"Morgan? You with me?" He said hoarsely to me snapping me out of my drema world.

"Jeff I can't bear this I'm going back home your home. Can I saty in your room tonight? I don't feel safe in my own." I said shaking remembering all that had occurred that day.

"Of course baby you want Shannon over I know you guys are tight and all. Or how about Matt?" he asked even more hoarsely then before.

"No Jeff I need my space. I need to think. I'll have Shannon over later in the day tomorrow after I've slept and all. I love you Jeff. I love you more then you know." I said kissing him passionately. He returned as best he could in his state. "Bye Jeff, I'll see you once you get home, this place just scares me I'm sorry I have to go." I said lying to him.

"It's ok Dad will stay with me. Matt will take ya home and help you out while Dad and I are here ok?" he asked.

"I am. And I'll stay strong for you." I said smiling and kissing his forehead, then leaving crying hard as I got out. Matt ran towards me and picked me up. He put me into the car and took me home. I guess he figured it best to give me my space. But he gave me a bit too much.

My trusty knife, my only real friend left had been hidden in Jeff's room by Matt. I knew where it was. Jeff had said to me that day before I left that he had it in his closet. I had no trouble finding it.

I put it onto my pale skin. It was a cold familiar feeling. I knew this time not to cut as deep. I push on the blade of the knife. It pierces the skin and the first little trickles of blood penetrate the gap. God how I have missed this pain. It has been lost from me for so long. I feel real once more. I push it into shapes upon my arm. First I draw a letter a letter m, followed by a y. Eventually I have carved my fault into my arm. This shall be my constant reminder of what I have done. I have hurt loved ones. I have hurt Jeff, the one person who loved me, who never gave up on me. I hurt him.

The pain is heaven. I linger in it. I fear for it to go. I also fear that Matt might walk in and see me with a blade in my arm. I carve a small dagger shape beside the sentence I have carved. I then hide the bloody knife in an empty drawer of Jeff's. I'll hide it better later.

I cover up the wounds I have made with a long sleeved sweatshirt of Jeff's. My favorite black one with Pearl Jam written on the from. After I get it on Matt knocks on Jeff's door. I make sure nothing is visible and then I answer the door.

"Hey Morgan, I'm sorry kiddo!" he said breaking down in my arms. This shocked me and also make me see how much I had hurt Matt too. I would have to punish myself more for that.

"Matt don't worry Jeff will be fine he's tuff. He'll be ok." I said my voice wavering a bit.

"I know Morgan I still can't figure out why Shane went all a wall on Jeff and you and Shannon!" he replied. Did this mean they hadn't all read my letter? Someone had taken it. Shane? No it had to have been Jeff after Shane saw it. Jeff kew what would happen if Matt or Gil saw that note. My freedom would all be gone, this way I had it. Jeff had helped me so much.

"I. I don't know Matt, maybe he was just angry about something. Who knows but him. Has there been any word from the police?" I asked trying to smile to make Matt happier.

"no not yet, and that scares me. He knows where we live, maybe we should head over to Shannon's what do you say kiddo?" he asked hugging me tightly. Shannon knew everything I could trust Shannon.

"That's a great idea Matt." I said smiling. We headed to Shannon's with all my stuff. We got there in 5 minutes in Matt's car. Shannon was outside waiting. He ran up and hugged me and took in my stuff. Matt was going to the hospital to tell Jeff and gil where we were. Shannon was all alone that weekend since his parents were in Cancun for the week.

"Morgan your afraid aren't you? Afraid of what Shane might do?" Shannon asked hugging her tightly as she wept after showing Shannon all she had done and telling him the hole story.

"I'm scared for my life and everyone I hold dear Shan, I hurt so bad now. My life has been a fucking train wreck. Everything is wrong. Shannon I don't know who I am anymore or who I used to be. All I know is the pain from the knife, and Jeff and his love for me and me for him. Other then that everything is alien." I said crying into his chest.

"Morgan, I'm always here for you girl. I always will be and I'm glad you told me this. I'm going to help you, and I won't tell a soul I promise he said solemly. At that moment the doorbell rang. "Morgan hide, I wasn't expecting anyone and Mat has keys, it's Shane I'm sure of it. Hide!" Shannon said running to his pantry and grabbing a large gun. I ran and hid under his bed as he sat in the room above me making sure I was save.