*!Hello!*

I lay under Shannon's bed shaking profusely. It is just us two, for all the night, it will only be us two. Shannon does have a gun, but what if Shane takes us by surprise. I shudder at the thought. I decide I cannot poor Shannon up there all alone. I get up slowly from under the bed. I would welcome death anywys right? Why should I fear what I tried to do myself?

"Get under the bed Morgan! NOW!" he shouted. But I do not move. I remain fixed in the possession beside him. I look into his big blue eyes and see nothing but pure terror and worry. He fears death. He s not ready to face it. It is then I decide what I must do.

"I'm sorry Shannon, I really am!" I say before kissing him on the lips, but only a friendly kiss, a kiss of sorrow. While he is in a sort of shock, I hit him on the back of the head. I knock out my best friend. I drag his limp body under his bed. " You'll forgive me some day Shan, I know you will." I say softly kissing his cheek and picking up the gun.

I head downstairs to the door. There is no more knocking nor is any form visible through the window of the door. Perhaps I hurt Shannon in vain? I roll up the sleeves of Jeff's sweatshirt to reveal my scars. I had almost forgotten them. I drop the gun off by the stairs and head into Shannon's kitchen. I pull out a knife. I start again.

The pain is surreal. I love it I welcome it. I have hurt Shannon, I have nearly killed Jeff and I have driven Shane insane! My life is a fucking train wreck where the world has given up on me. As the blade goes deeper I remember Jeff's words. He had said them to me long ago. ' Morgan I will never give up on you never.'. Why did these words mean so much, after all they were just words. It was then I heard a gun shot. It had come from the front door.

As I run towards it I forget to pick up the gun. I also forget to drop the knife covered in my blood. I look through the doorway and see Shane. He has shot the lock right off the door. I jump up the stairs to make sure Shannon is safe. I can no longer see straight, I have lost much blood today. What if I cannot save Shannon? What if Shane kills him. I would kill myself, I would never give Shane that satisfaction. If anyone is to die without cause it should be me.

I cannot see Shane anywhere, perhaps he has given up? I run into Shannon's room. I duck under the bed and I am releaved. Shannon is there but he is waking up slowly. It is then I realize I still have the bloody knife in my hand and I do not have the gun.

"Shannon I'm so sorry, I just saw how scared you were and I didn't want you to." I am cut off by a harsh voice yelling at me.

"You little bitch, first Jeff and now Shannon? You're such a little Whore you are!" he said making me cry. I hated being called a whore. It was then I felt a gun press into my back. "Well tonight, your going to be my whore, or you will die." He finished.

"Shane what the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you lay a finger on her or I'll." Shannon was cut off by a quick punch to the stomac by Shane. I began to cry harder, I hated to see people in so much pain. I screamed so loud praying maybe Shannon's neighbors would hear me. Shane pulled me to my feet and shoved me onto Shannon's bed.

"Take your fucking clothes off!" he yelled at me. I refused. He shoved the gun right into my face and repeated what he said. Still I refused. After all I wanted to die. I really didn't care how. He'd make it quick and painless, I would have done it slowly and painfully. He finally gave up on asking me and just ripped my shirt off. Shannon tried to get up to help me but moved quickly away once Shane turned to him gun pointed at Shannon's heart.

"If you move you little bitch, you lover dies!" he screamed.

"He's not my lover Shane. He's my best friend." I began not able to complete my sentence due to tears.

"Shane you can't rape her that's wrong man. You heard her she doesn't want to fuck you, just stop your gonna hurt someone!" cried Shannon seeing the pain etched on my face.

"I'm the one with the fucking gun I'll decide what I do here, and Shannon go to her on the bed." Shane said moving off of me.

"What are you doing man?" Shannon asked a little unsure of what Shane had planned. Shane lifted the gun again this time to my head. Shannon did as he was told, he didn't want me to die that way. He went to me on the bed.

"Ok now kiss her passionately" Shane said still pointing the gun at my head. Shannon hesitated. Eventually he leaned in and whispered to me.

"Morgan, I'm sorry for this I don't understand what he's doing I know you want to die, but I'm not ready to let my best friend go so easily." He said as he leaned in and kissed me softly.

"Good now more passionately both of you!" Shane yelled. We did as we were told. Shannon inserted his tongue, it felt nice. But I knew it was wrong. What would Jeff think. That's when it hit me. Shane was making me feel how he did when he found out about me and Jeff. It hurt so bad. We hadn't notice Shane pick up Shannon's Polaroid camera and take pictures of us.

Shannon and I finally broke our kiss. We saw the pictures Shane had taken. I knew then my suspicions had been correct, he was going to black mail me into doing something. He would give the pictures to someone. I didn't want to hurt Jeff. I had already almost killed him.

"Now Shannon get off of her. I want some of the whore." He said in a menacing tone. Shannon got off me giving me one last kiss on the cheek as if to say he'll help me once he gets the opportunity. "Good now be a good prostitute for me and be nice. I know how much you don't like me now but if your bad I'll shoot your little boyfriend there Shannon!" he shouted. I did as he told me fearing for Shannon's safety. I refused to hurt anyone else.

He moved closer to my face. He was not as gentle as Shannon had been. But he took his mind off Shannon, for just a moment and Shan saw opportunity. He jump onto the bed frightening Shane and grabbing the gun he turned it on Shane.

"GET OFF OF HER NOW!" he shouted to Shane. Holding the gun tightly in his hand. Shane obeyed and got off me. Shannon passed me my shirt and I put it on. Both men still staring one another down. I got the pictures and ripped them up. Then I sat down beside Shane.

"I know why you did this Shane and I'm sorry. Nothing made sense at the time but Jeff. I'm sorry I hurt you baby. but I didn't know what else to do. But taking a gun and trying to kill me and everything I hold dear isn't the solution. Now we have to call the cops to arrest you., I didn't want to do it. But you left me no choice.

"I'm sorry baby I really am I don't know what came over me, I was so stupid. Please forgive me Morgan, Shannon. I'm so sorry." Shane stuttered between sob. He went quietly with the police. And eventually was sentenced to 7 years in prison. We bailed him about 3 eeks later. He was so sorry for everything. He had learned the hard way what my life was like.