*!It Just Feels Right!*

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"Do you need me to get you anything Hayley?" Amanda called to her from the kitchen.

It seemed that ever since she had come home from the hospital after the surgery and the couple of days of tests, everyone had been all around her wanting to help her out. She thought back to when Shane had picked her up after she was discharged, and how she should have told him then that Jeff was the one who was with her through it all. She couldn't bring herself to do it though because she knew that Shane had wanted to be the one that was there with her.

"No, I'm fine, you can stop asking and find something else to do you know!" Hayley yelled back through the living room.

She couldn't believe how insane she was going just being in this house and not being able to fly out and attend her meetings. She wasn't used to being forced to sit around all day and do nothing and she didn't want what was now happening with the writers on her show, to change because she wasn't there to build on it. She had already called Jim three times that day asking to be flown out there to attend, all the while getting the wrong answers. It looked like she was going to have to watch Raw at home tonight and pray that Shane didn't get hurt.

"I don't have anywhere that I want to be right now Hayley, besides, I'm making Mike come to me this time."

"Oh I don't want to know. Do you have to bring him over here when I can't move off the damn couch on my own?"

"Why are you worried about what he's going to think?"

"No I really don't care what Mike thinks about me."

"Okay Hayley, what gives here? Your more bitter then usual with me. It's to the point now where I don't think I like your tone of voice."

Hayley tried to stand up off the couch so she could go back upstairs to her room, but as soon as she stood the pain knocked her back down to the couch and she doubled over in pain.

"Hayley shit girl!!! Why would you even try to do that?"

Amanda raced over to the couch and placed Hayley's arm around her neck lifting her off the couch so she wouldn't feel any pain. She wanted to make sure this went as easily as possible for her friend. This was a really hard time for her right now and she didn't need to hurt herself more.

"Amanda, I hate being this much in pain, and I just feel so helpless and I can't do this anymore. Nothing is ever going to be the same."

"What do you mean Hun? Don't you think that the doctor got everything and you're healthy now?"

'I'll never be the same Amanda, and you know it too. I can never be normal and do the normal things a woman my age can do."

"Where is this coming from? Please tell me what you mean!"

"I can never have children, so I'm like half a woman. How the hell can I be anything to Shane when I cant give him the family he deserves!" Hayley yelled and pulled away from Amanda, forcing her way slowly up the stairs and clenching her teeth through the pain.

"You are not half a woman Hayley, now please let me help you!"

"No, I've got it alright, just leave me alone."

Making her way slowly up the stairs on her own, Hayley sighed when she hit her bedroom door. She knew that what Amanda was saying was right, but she just couldn't believe it. This was a really cruel twist of fate that was handed to her, and she had to make the best of it on her own. She had to be strong, and do this alone.

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"Amanda, where is she? We wanted to see how she was doing since she's been home." Summer asked as she stepped into the house. It was funny that Hayley always came to their house and this was the first time they had actually come to see her. Hayley really did have a wonderful house, and it was situated on land just as pretty as her and Jeff's.

"She forced her way upstairs on her own a few hours ago and she hasn't come back down. I don't know how up to seeing people she's going to be right now."

"She'll want to see us, believe me."

"I have no doubt that you guys are her friends, but you aren't listening to what I just said. She had a fit here in this living room and she's hell bent and determined to do this on her own. She has another appointment with the doctor Wednesday to see if they got rid of all the cancer, and she's going to do that on her own too. She doesn't want to see anyone or deal with anyone right now. I think she thinks we are taking over her illness for her."

Amanda sat down on the couch and Jeff and Summer took the chairs around her. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at them.

"Did you know she went to the hospital for the surgery alone too?" Amanda asked.

"She did what?" Jeff managed to choke out. It was apparent that Hayley didn't want anyone knowing that Jeff had been there for her when the others couldn't, and that thought alone scared him. He wanted to be there for her, and he knew Summer and Shane did too, but she really was determined to keep everyone out of it. He didn't feel like telling everyone that he was there, so he just listening to Summer talk.

"She went to the hospital to speak with her doctor and then she went downstairs and had the surgery, and the first that we hear of it, is when she calls us afterwards to tell us she's alright and that she is going to need a ride. Something is going on with her, and I cannot figure it out."

"All the more reason for us to talk to her. Has she spoken to Shane?"

"Yeah he drove her home but other then that he's getting the same treatment as I have for the past week or so. She's is pushing us away and I know that if you guys go up there, she's going to do the same thing to you."

Jeff just sat back and though about everything for a minute. He knew why Hayley didn't want anyone knowing she was sick, and he even was helping her out with that, but he couldn't figure out why now, that everyone knew she was sick and that she had surgery to make the cancer go away, she was pulling away from them. He knew he had to do something though, and he'd better do it fast.

"Amanda, Summer, can you give me a few minutes alone with her? She's been opening up to me lately when I'm over on Raw, and I think she might just need a different voice right now. One that isn't a female."

"Then why wont she talk to Shane?"

"He's too close to the situation, just give me five minutes and I'll see what I can do. Will you let me go up there Amanda?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

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Jeff made his way to her door and knocked lightly. He waited a few minutes and then he heard the music playing in the background. He knew the music well because it was in Summer's studio all the time. What he couldn't figure out was why she wasn't coming to the door. Knocking again without a response he walked in and saw her sitting at her desk looking out the window at the night sky.

"We need to stop meeting when you're lost in thought."

Turning off the music Hayley turned around to face him. What he saw when she did was the tears that had already fallen and were still falling from her eyes. It made his heart just break looking at her this hurt, knowing there wasn't much he could do for her.

"Hayley, why the tears?"

"Jeff, everything has changed." Sobbing gently, Jeff pulled her to him and held on tight. She really was beating herself up over this surgery even though it could possibly mean that she was cancer free now.

"Explain to me how everything has changed princess, I'm listening."

"I'm useless to any guy now, and my job, god my job is the best thing in the world but because of Shane, I cannot go back there."

"What do you mean you cant go back?"

"I'm useless Jeff."

"How are you useless?"

"I can never have a family. I can never be the perfect wife and mother for any guy, Especially Shane."

"Don't talk like that princess, Shane will understand this, and its not your fault, he loves you."

"Will he still love me when he realizes that every dream I've ever had regarding a family, and every dream he's had about being a dad go down to hell?"

"YES! He loves you with everything in him, he told you so, so I can't see why you doubt this. I want you to listen to me for the first time since I've known you all right? He loves you for the person you are, not for the amount of kids you guys can have when you do get married. He's not like that!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, just answer me something."

"What Jeff?"

"Why haven't you told anyone, including Summer that I was in the hospital with you the night of your surgery?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't see you telling her either!"

"It's not for me to tell Hayley don't you get that?"

"Don't yell at me Jeff." Hayley said slowly getting up out of the chair and moving towards the bed.

"I don't mean to yell, but you need to tell me what's going on here. What is the real reason you aren't telling Shane, Amanda or Summer about me being with you?"

"Jeff, I'm confused that's all..."

"It's more then that, I can feel it...just be honest with me Hayley."

Hayley stopped herself before she got to the bed and spun around. What she didn't realize was that Jeff had come up behind her and when she flipped around to face him, she ran into him face to face. Looking into his eyes and seeing the concern lying there, and the need to make her feel better, she closed her eyes and bent in to kiss him. The minute Hayley's lips touched his, he knew it was wrong, but Jeff kissed her back gently, wanting to take all of her tears away with every second.

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