*!What It Feels Like For A Girl!*

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"The doctor will see you now Hayley."

"Thanks Marissa, I'll talk to you later."

Making her way into the doctor's office to wait for her, Hayley got this nervous feeling in her stomach. She didn't want to be here, but she had to do this for Shane as well as herself. She already knew what was coming, but she wanted to be sure. Doctor Abrams entered the office and smiled lightly at Hayley. She had a feeling this was going to be bad.

"Thank you for coming in to see me on such short notice. I need to discuss some things with you, and then go from there alright?"

"Of course Dr. Abrams."

"I've gone over the X-rays as well as the information from the hospital in Dallas, and after the blood test they ran there, we have reason to believe this is ovarian and if we don't handle it right away, it could spread, and could be life threatening."

"Has it spread?"

"At this time I can't be sure if it has or not because we didn't know the severity of it, but we will have to run tests on that too, we don't want it to be spreading because it means more work in tracking and keeping it under control."

"So what do I have to do?"

"We have a doctor on call today, who specializes in surgery to remove the ovaries and fallopian tubes. Would you be up to going into surgery today?"

"I'm not going to be able to have kids am I?"

"No, I'm sorry Hayley you won't."

"God this isn't right! Why did this have to happen to me?"

'Its genetics, and there is no real reason for it. I'm sorry to do this to you but if we don't take of this right now, something serious could happen, and I don't want to think that way at this stage. You're too young for that."

"I can do whatever you need me to do to make this go away. So book me with this surgeon. Do I need to call my work and have some time off?"

"I would advise you to do that yes, because you wont be mobile for awhile afterwards. They will probably let you go home with homecare but as far as work goes, it's out of the question. Unless you can work from your bed at home."

"I'll deal with it, but can you tell me whets going to happen to me when I get down there?"

"He will prepare you when you meet with him downstairs, but what I can tell you, is you will be knocked out and they are going to remove as much of the cancer as they can find. It's a serious surgery but it has a wonderful success rate, which is what we are hoping on with this Hayley."

"Okay, so when do we start?"

"Do you want anyone here with you?"

"Yeah, I can call someone to be here with me."

"Well do that and go meet Dr. Hodges downstairs on the third floor. He'll be expecting you. I will be there shortly to be with you. This will all work out Hayley, you'll see. We are going to help you get through this."

"I just don't want to end up like my mother."

"Well that's what I'm here to prevent."

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"So can you get here as soon as possible? I can't do this alone." Hayley pleaded.

"There is no where else I'd rather be, your at Raleigh General right?"

"Yeah, and they want to start as soon as they can. I hate to do this to you, but I can't get a hold of anyone else. You're my last hope."

"I'll be there, just hang in there. I'm on the way."

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"Now Hayley, what we are doing here is a hysterectomy, which means I'm going to removing everything I can find that might be cancerous alright? Do you understand what I'm saying?" Dr. Hodges asked.

"Yes, I was here when my mother went through hers. I understand what you're going to have to do. Is it okay if I have someone in there with me, he won't get in the way?"

"Of course, we actually prefer that someone is there, although most women choose to have another woman with them, for obvious reasons. But your friend can be there."

"Thank you. He will be here soon, but while we wait I can get prepped for the surgery."

"Just take everything off and put this gown on with the front open alright? I will be back in a few minutes and when your friend arrives I will send him in for you alright?"

"Thank you Dr.Hodges."

"We're going to help you Hayley, and hopefully make you good as new."

Hayley couldn't help feeling sick to her stomach. She would never be good as new even if they did remove all the cancer from her system. She was never going to be normal again. She would never be able to wake up next to Shane and go check on their kids, and be a real family and a real mother. Every dream she ever had seemed to be going to hell all based around this surgery. She really wasn't sure if this was the right thing.

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"You made it alright?"

"Well I'm standing here aren't I?"

"Yeah you are. I'm sorry I had to call you to come be with me, there wasn't anyone else."

"You're my friend and you're going through some really hard stuff right now, so of course I would be here. Are you sure you don't want me to call Summer though? She's a woman and she would understand this more."

"I called her cell and the house, which is where I got you, but if you're uncomfortable, then you don't have to be here."

"No Hayley, I said I would do this for you, and I will. I was just making sure you were alright. So when do you go in?"

"Now that you're here, right now. Can you be in the room with me?"

"Yes Hayley, I can."

"Thanks Jeff, it really means a lot you being here for me."

"Well I want my girl to be alright, so of course I have to be here, plus if I wasn't and Shane found out, he'd kill me."

"Things are going to change so much now Jeff, I don't know if I can keep going." Hayley said as Jeff pulled her into a hug. It was obvious this was all taking its toll on her, and she was finally letting it show.

"You can, because I'm going to help you. I'm not going anywhere Hayley."

At that moment the door opened and Dr. Hodges made his way into the room. With one motion of his hand and an unspoken word, the orderlies moved the bed and they made their way down the hall to where the surgery would be taking place. Hayley hoped that this would be the end of it, because she couldn't do this anymore, and she didn't know how she was going to explain all of this to Shane.

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