*!Story About A Girl!*

*Story about a Girl*

I can remember it like it was yesterday. Sitting there in front of the television watching Superstars with my brother Joe. Seeing what these guys did to their bodies every night to entertain people just like me. I was young, really young to be exact, but I never forget the feeling of seeing the Immortal Hulk Hogan beating the crap out of Randy Savage. It was amazing to me that this stuff was real.

My father was never really into the whole sports-entertainment deal, and that was fine for me and my brother because we were. There was nothing better then watching people wrestle. We even went and saw a couple of live shows. Back then they used to come here all the time, it was like religion. He was the first person to tell me that everything was fake. I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now. There is something about what these guys and girls do every night to their bodies that makes it seems real to me. I think it always will.

My first real crush on someone famous came from wrestling. I wasn't into all the singers and famous actors like the girls are now. I was in love with wrestlers. One wrestler to be perfectly honest. He was the enigma of my whole entire being. That wrestler was Shawn Michaels. I had my first taste of Shawn when I was young but it never sunk in for real until I was about 12 or 13. That was when he became larger then life to me. I would go out of my way to meet this man. He came here for signings and I was there in the rain most of the time, waiting. If I didn't get in to see him, that was alright. Just being there meant that he knew he was adored.

That was around the time I really started writing. It wasn't corny poetry that little girls write when they fall in love. I wasn't good at poetry, and I'm still not, ten years later. I wrote stories, fan fiction as it's called now. I wrote this story about Shawn and to me it was the most beautiful story I had ever written. I've since gone back to that story for inspiration and well going over it, it's the funniest thing I've ever had the experience of reading, but it was mine and I loved it. I still love it, although I made Shawn throw Owen into a tree, so it wasn't the most imaginative piece I've ever done. Maybe one day some of you will read it, maybe not. Time has a way of changing things. Maybe it could be famous for comedy shows.

When Shawn semi-retired my heart broke in half. Looking back, seeing what he has done with his life in that time, I couldn't be happier for him. He went and had a family and he's not really into God. I think everyone needs something to believe in, even a God. When he walked out to do his own thing personally, I lost my love of wrestling. I would always watch RAW and then later on Smackdown, but it just wasn't the same as it was when he was there. I stopped writing for about three years. I had no inspiration to do anything anymore. So I turned to music. I started singing and I never got out of it. That's when things began looking up for me with my wrestling.

Matt and Jeff Hardy came onto the scene as these jobbers. They were two little guys from North Carolina with colorful clothes, long hair and beautiful smiles. I was hooked in again without even realizing it. It wasn't because they were cute because back then, they weren't all that cute to me. Sure Jeff was Jeff and Matt was Matt, but they weren't the enigma they are now. They had heart though. You could see it every time they went out there and did what they had to do. I loved those guys with the colorful clothing because of that heart and because of that determination. There was no going back for me.

When they won the tag championships, that's when I started to really look at Jeff as someone I thought was cute. The colorful hair came after but the blonde reminded me of Shawn. It was wonderful to have someone just like Shawn to keep my interests again. I give Matt all the respect in the world. I think he is an amazing performer and he's the sole reason I'm watching Smackdown so much now, but Jeff was like this oddball, and I jumped on that because I could see myself through him.

When I found out he wrote poetry, it meant even more to me. I think poetry is one of the most beautiful ways to express yourself, and he was doing it. When he came out with the name "Emoetry", well that was even better. He was different and unique, and I just ate it up. I still do to this day. There are so many facets to this man that no one but him and those really close to him see, and well it was just therapeutic that he was different. It meant that somewhere in this messed up world I'm not alone.

I'm skipping ahead here because I want to get to the heart of this whole story. The hardest thing for me to deal with was when I found out he was leaving. That was one of the hardest things I think I've ever dealt with. You find yourself so into something, that you tune out all of the bad stuff, but when the good thing turns bad, how does one deal with it?

April 22nd, 2003. Just writing that day means something groundbreaking to me. This is all very cheesy to a lot of people but this was my reaction. Mine alone, and thinking back I still don't find it all that funny. I'm wondering why everyone else did.

I was at work; it was a rather hectic day, but nothing I couldn't handle. I mean RAW had been on the night before, and Jeff wasn't on but that's because he asked for some time off to be with his girl and deal with issues, which I came to learn after the fact. It was alright. I had my Hardy Book which I was reading over for a second time. I went to this girl's website to see if there was anything new happening in the life of wrestling, and I saw this message written there and my jaw just dropped. I didn't want to believe it, because when it comes to the net, there is a lot of crap that is said on here. I just remember saying "oh my god" about three times. I didn't want to believe it was real.

I went to the WWE website, because if something bad was going to happen like I had read, it would be there and it wouldn't be a lie. What I saw when I got there just shocked me into silence. I didn't move. I don't even remember thinking at that point. It was like a freeze frame, something you don't want to believe is happening.

*The WWE Regrets to Inform its Fans that it's severed all ties with Jeff Hardy, we wish him the best of luck*

Have you ever had a moment where you hear something and it's the sickest piece of garbage you've ever heard? Well that's what I felt like reading it over. It didn't sink it; I don't think I would let my mind sink it in. My heart just stopped. The one thing that bothered me more then anything was that he was let go, mutual or not, but I looked around the entire site, and everything having to do with him was taken down. It was like the biggest slap in the face. He did so much for that business, he might never be the same with his body and they just discarded him. It was mutual between him and the company and that's really great and everything, but to throw it all away? The WWE I mean. This was just wrong. I remember leaving my desk and running to the washroom. I just needed to get myself together because at that point I had lost all sense of time and space.

It's been almost a month, and this is the first time I've written anything about it. For a long time and sometimes even now, it doesn't seem all that real. I expect him to come out on RAW and be with Trish again. Or I will see Hurricane and think "wow Jeff should come out and help him". We won't see that though, and the more time that passes, it's becoming more apparent. Jeff needs to be Jeff Hardy, the person, not the enigma of sports entertainment.

I still watch wrestling, and even RAW, for Shane Helms. He is the new Jeff Hardy for me. I need to keep my focus on the good points otherwise I might never watch wrestling again.

Looking back on how my love of wrestling started and then my love of certain superstars carried it on, I realize I am still the same little girl I was 18 years ago watching Hulk Hogan. Nothing has changed all that much. Except now I'm a bigger kid then I was then. I lost my love of writing when Jeff left, but its slowly coming back. Just like it did for me when Shawn left. Times change, but people stay the same.