*!Hello & My Last Breath!*

I sat in the hospital for what seemed days or weeks. Really only slow desperate hours passed. The bullet was lodged within his collar bone. The doctors were fumbeled for lack of a better word. They just couldn't figure out how to get the bullet out. They finally got it after hours of surgery and lots of lost blood.

I was the first visitor Jeff was aloud, he asked for me with his feable strength. He called for me and the doctors were ify on my coming in. But eventually they agreed.

"Jeff?" I said teary eyed as I entered his room. "are you ok baby?" I smiled at him and walked towards his face. I kissed his soft lips. I woke him. He stared into my eyes and smiled.

"Hey Morgy, I love you. Never forget that baby ok?" he asked weakly kissing me again.

"I know that Jeff I know." I said crying.

"Morgan don't cry, you know I feel like shit when you cry it's not that bad I'll be fine baby come on where's my smiling Morgan?" he asked laughing hoarsely.

"Jeff it's my fault you're here. Blame me Shane found out and he wasn't supposed to know it's all my fault!" I screamed in my head. Those words kept repeating over and over again. It had been al my fault I almost killed my best friend, and with him in the hospital, I was free to bleed the pain out in peace.

"Morgan? You with me?" He said hoarsely to me snapping me out of my drema world.

"Jeff I can't bear this I'm going back home your home. Can I saty in your room tonight? I don't feel safe in my own." I said shaking remembering all that had occurred that day.

"Of course baby you want Shannon over I know you guys are tight and all. Or how about Matt?" he asked even more hoarsely then before.

"No Jeff I need my space. I need to think. I'll have Shannon over later in the day tomorrow after I've slept and all. I love you Jeff. I love you more then you know." I said kissing him passionately. He returned as best he could in his state. "Bye Jeff, I'll see you once you get home, this place just scares me I'm sorry I have to go." I said lying to him.

"It's ok Dad will stay with me. Matt will take ya home and help you out while Dad and I are here ok?" he asked.

"I am. And I'll stay strong for you." I said smiling and kissing his forehead, then leaving crying hard as I got out. Matt ran towards me and picked me up. He put me into the car and took me home. I guess he figured it best to give me my space. But he gave me a bit too much.

My trusty knife, my only real friend left had been hidden in Jeff's room by Matt. I knew where it was. Jeff had said to me that day before I left that he had it in his closet. I had no trouble finding it.

I put it onto my pale skin. It was a cold familiar feeling. I knew this time not to cut as deep. I push on the blade of the knife. It pierces the skin and the first little trickles of blood penetrate the gap. God how I have missed this pain. It has been lost from me for so long. I feel real once more. I push it into shapes upon my arm. First I draw a letter a letter m, followed by a y. Eventually I have carved my fault into my arm. This shall be my constant reminder of what I have done. I have hurt loved ones. I have hurt Jeff, the one person who loved me, who never gave up on me. I hurt him.

The pain is heaven. I linger in it. I fear for it to go. I also fear that Matt might walk in and see me with a blade in my arm. I carve a small dagger shape beside the sentence I have carved. I then hide the bloody knife in an empty drawer of Jeff's. I'll hide it better later.

I cover up the wounds I have made with a long sleeved sweatshirt of Jeff's. My favorite black one with Pearl Jam written on the from. After I get it on Matt knocks on Jeff's door. I make sure nothing is visible and then I answer the door.

"Hey Morgan, I'm sorry kiddo!" he said breaking down in my arms. This shocked me and also make me see how much I had hurt Matt too. I would have to punish myself more for that.

"Matt don't worry Jeff will be fine he's tuff. He'll be ok." I said my voice wavering a bit.

"I know Morgan I still can't figure out why Shane went all a wall on Jeff and you and Shannon!" he replied. Did this mean they hadn't all read my letter? Someone had taken it. Shane? No it had to have been Jeff after Shane saw it. Jeff kew what would happen if Matt or Gil saw that note. My freedom would all be gone, this way I had it. Jeff had helped me so much.

"I. I don't know Matt, maybe he was just angry about something. Who knows but him. Has there been any word from the police?" I asked trying to smile to make Matt happier.

"no not yet, and that scares me. He knows where we live, maybe we should head over to Shannon's what do you say kiddo?" he asked hugging me tightly. Shannon knew everything I could trust Shannon.

"That's a great idea Matt." I said smiling. We headed to Shannon's with all my stuff. We got there in 5 minutes in Matt's car. Shannon was outside waiting. He ran up and hugged me and took in my stuff. Matt was going to the hospital to tell Jeff and gil where we were. Shannon was all alone that weekend since his parents were in Cancun for the week.

"Morgan your afraid aren't you? Afraid of what Shane might do?" Shannon asked hugging her tightly as she wept after showing Shannon all she had done and telling him the hole story.

"I'm scared for my life and everyone I hold dear Shan, I hurt so bad now. My life has been a fucking train wreck. Everything is wrong. Shannon I don't know who I am anymore or who I used to be. All I know is the pain from the knife, and Jeff and his love for me and me for him. Other then that everything is alien." I said crying into his chest.

"Morgan, I'm always here for you girl. I always will be and I'm glad you told me this. I'm going to help you, and I won't tell a soul I promise he said solemly. At that moment the doorbell rang. "Morgan hide, I wasn't expecting anyone and Mat has keys, it's Shane I'm sure of it. Hide!" Shannon said running to his pantry and grabbing a large gun. I ran and hid under his bed as he sat in the room above me making sure I was save.

*****************

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Several years later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I take a deep breath. Jeff sits beside me and holds my hand tightly. I have not spoken to the man behind this door in so long. I have not been able to face him since we bailed him. Jeff senses my fears, he kisses me softly on my lips trying to reassure me that Shane has changed, that he would never hurt us again.

"Baby don't worry I'm here with you. I promise you he's changed, Matt's been keeping in touch with him. He says Shane's been wanting to do this for awhile, plus you're in the WWE he's in WCW he can't touch you. And I'm right beside you." Jeff said nibbling on my ear softly.

" I know Jeff, but I'm still a bit afraid of him, he did try to kill you and rape me. But if Matt says he's better I believe him." I said pulling away, this wasn't the time to be having fun, and my stomac hurt so much from the nervousness.

The door opened and Shane stepped out. He looked much better then before, healthier and with more sanity in his face. He smiled as he saw us. He was happy we had agreed to come. He knew what he needed to do to make things a bit more right.

"Morgan, Jeff thanks for coming to see me on such short notice. I just wanted to tell you both in person, I'm so sorry for what I did, the doc says I had chronic depression and no one had ever seen it at all. I'm on anti depressants and also, I'm fully better now. I was wondering if there was any way to make it up to you guys?" Shane said extending his hand towards Jeff. Jeff accepted it and so did I.

"Shane man, it's good to have the old you back!" Jeff said hugging Shane tightly, as a brother would. Shane came down to hug me as well, but I moved behind Jeff like a small child would. I was still afraid of him, and my trust for him would take a long time to return. At that moment Shannon walked in and saw me cowering behind Jeff and ran beside me to check on me. Shannon and I had grown very close since the whole Shane thing. He took care of me while Jeff was in the hospital.

"Shane back off!" Shannon yelled not knowing the situation.

"Shannon it's ok he's al better it's just Morgan is still uptight, but then again I really can't blame her, Shane what you did to her was wrong as hell, trying to rape her." Jeff said smiling at Shannon the turning to scowl at Shane. Shannon and I had never told Jeff about what Shane had made us do, I was afraid of what might happen if Jeff were to ever know.

"Ok Jeff if your sure, I still don't trust you Shane, what you did, well it was unforgivable, but in time I'm sure we'll all forgive you. But I refuse to now, but I'll say this if you do anything fishy at all I swear I'll fucking hunt you down myself!" Shannon said, raising his fists.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~3 months later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jeff and I were on Raw together and Shane had come to join us. Shannon and Matt had been put on Smack Down, god how I missed Shannon. But as long as I was with Jeff nothing else mattered. While on RAW I met a superstar who was even more evil and insane then Shane had been. Lance Storm. He came off a nice guy around a crowd.

"Hey there sweetheart, I need to talk to you about a story line they have us in together, could you just come in here with me so you could just give me your imput?" Storm asked so nicely of course I said yes. That's when my hell came back. He had other ideas then story lines in his mind.

"Uh Lance why did you lock the door? Everyone should know about this story line if it's new and plus I was going to meet Jeff we have a date tonight." I said a bit afraid. I had never really gotten to know Lance but he had always seemed nice enough.

"Oh no sweetheart there is no story line, your going to be a good little diva and fuck here and now!" he said taking off his clothing. And walking towards me.

"GOD HELP ME!! Get away you sick freak!" I said punching him. But it was no use he was a lot bigger then me. He held me tightly around my neck and pushed so hard I thought I would pass out. He pulled of my top and tossed it away and started to touch me. I shuddered at his touch. I prayed with all my heart some one would find me and help me. Nobody came. He did what he wanted and left me.

I sat in the mess he had left. Clothes around me when Shane came in and saw me. He looked around but couldn't understand why I was sitting naked in a room all alone. It's then that it sunk in. He ran towards me and try to hug me, but I shuddered as he got close.

"O god, Morgan who did this to you?" he asked afraid. I couldn't tell anyone. Storm had said if I told anyone, he would hurt Jeff. I wouldn't risk Jeff. His safety was more important then mine. I would never tell a soul.

"Shane I can't remember I must have been drugged" I lied. "I need to get dressed and meet Jeff. Could you help me Shane it hurts to walk." I said trying to stand up but falling right back to the ground. I had bruises all over me and there were hand marks of blue on my neck.

Shane helped me dress even though every time he got too close I would shudder. Eventually I was fully clothed and looking as if nothing had happened except for the bruising, Shane helped me outside the room. HE helped me all the way towards Jeff's car, his Black Corvette. Jeff saw me and freaked out. He thought Shane had done it. But I explained to him it wasn't Shane and that Shane had helped me.

"If your sure baby, how about we just go back to the hotel?" Jeff suggested to me. He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away. I was scared he would be like Storm and hurt me. I was afraid to be with Jeff the only person who had always cared about me. The one guy I was truly in love with. I think he took it the wrong way and drove to the hotel silently.

"Jeff I'm sorry I just. I can't explain how I feel right now. just lost abit I guess." I said trying to think of a way to explain how I felt.

"Whatever Morgan, I'm going to sleep I hope you come to bed soon, I'm too tired to stay up. Goodnight baby. He said kissing my forehead. He hadn't notice me shudder a tiny bit.

After I was sure he was asleep I took out my trusty knife, the same one I had been using all those years ago. This was the final straw I had to bleed to feel better, it was my anti-depressant. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't want Jeff to know I was at it again, it would kill him to know.

I put the blade onto my thigh, I push lightly and cause a small breach in the skin. It felt so good the pain, I missed it so much. I pushed a bit harder and more blood came out. I did the same to the other thigh and washed my knife. I placed it back in my bag in the bottom where no one would find it and I washed my newest cuts. One day I would finish the job, one day I would end it all, but not tonight, not while Jeff was still here by my side. Maybe some day.